And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
