Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
