He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The beers last night were like the tears from god
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize