He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
