Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize