he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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