i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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