I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
