their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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