HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It's just like the Real World with babies
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
