I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
