I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
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