She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
