hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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