i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
