I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
