my soul wont recognize me after tonight
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
