Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize