you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
