our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
