Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
