have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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