I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
