dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
