We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize