I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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