he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My ass is underappreciated
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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