i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
