Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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