Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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