so explain again why im purple
no
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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