Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
