God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
