so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
