Someone shit on the floor
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
