Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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