Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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