Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
