The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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