im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
