Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
