Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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