R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
