KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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