You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just had sex bonerless
Be still, my beating vagina.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
