how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
