bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
