I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
