This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
