I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize