and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
