It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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