i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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