nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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