I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize