dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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