dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
