no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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