After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
