Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
