I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize