Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize