i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
