Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
