i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
