I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
