I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
