im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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