We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
