Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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