You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize