I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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