You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
