also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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