Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
