I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
