I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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