I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
