nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
