so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He? As in you personified your dick?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
