Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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