I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's never too late to be topless.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
