note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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