I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
